Lieutenant Croft's Release

Lieutenant Croft's Release is the eighth and final episode of the first season of AMC's Small Town Security. It originally aired September 2, 2012.

Synopsis
Inside JJK, Christa says she wants to open a restaurant similar to Hooters. But instead of female waitresses, she would have “a bunch of hot guys walking around.” The logo of the restaurant would be a rooster (similar to Hooter’s owl) and she’d call it “Cocks.”

Later at UCTV, Joan and Irwin host the Chief’s talk show. They invite callers to phone in, but no one does. “The name of the show is Joan Koplan’s Forum. But if nobody’s calling in, it’s not much of a forum,” says Joan. When asked why she still does the show, Chief admits that if someone offered her the choice of $50 million or becoming a star, “I’d rather have the fame.”

After the show, Croft drives Irwin and Joan home. He offers to walk Joan inside, but Joan asks Irwin to help her. In private, Joan says that Irwin “minds the fact that basically Dennis’s whole life revolves around me.” Irwin admits it bothers him, but doesn’t want to hurt Croft’s feelings. For his part, Croft says he is “completely committed to Chief.”

At JJK, Joan and Irwin complain that no one calls into their show. Brian suggests they avoid topics like Irwin’s joint pain and the aerodynamics of bumblebees; Croft advises the Chief to appear on other shows to promote Joan Koplan's Forum.

Moments later, the mailman arrives with court papers. Brian asks Christa to deliver a subpoena that he's been trying to serve for months. He thinks, she might have better luck getting the subject to answer his door.

On patrol, Chief tells Croft that he needs to find someone to “love you in the kind of way you need love, because I can’t love you in that kind of way.” Croft doesn’t think he could love anyone but the Chief, but Joan insists that “the physical stuff that you could get from this person… that’s what will start being more important to you than me.”

Christa and Brian strategize to serve the subpoena. He gives her a hat, balloons, and wraps the subpoena around a bouquet of flowers. Brian hides in the bushes while wearing a suit of fake branches. Christa rings the doorbell and says she’s from A-1 Delivery Service. The subject answers. When Christa confirms his name, she hands him the bouquet with the subpoena. “You’ve been served,” she says. The subject yells at Christa as she and Brian run away. Brian congratulates her on a job well done.

Joan makes the rounds to the different shows. She appears on Swap Shop, Sheriff Talk and Gurl Friendz.

Back at JJK, Chief calls Croft and Irwin into the reception area to discuss their love triangle. Chief tells Dennis to find someone else. But even when she says her looks will fade, Croft insists that he'd love her no matter what she looks like.

One night, Croft gets ready to go to a club. “For me, it’s a test. When I’m out and about, I’m always perceived male. But I want to see if I can attract someone.”

On Joan Koplan’s Forum, the topic is love and sex. Calls flood in. One caller says she saw Joan on Swap Shop and thought she’d tune in. Joan says, “I guess my publicity tour worked.”

After the show, Joan, Irwin, and Dennis go to a drag club. Captain is dancing with one of the performers. Joan is laughing. Dennis introduces himself to a woman named Carla. They hit it off. Croft says, “I’m enjoying myself immensely.” Irwin and Joan are thrilled. “I want him to be happy, that’s all,” says Joan.